I highly recommend a live online workshop happening this weekend! It is a wonderful opportunity to learn about what self-compassion really is, and to develop tools for practicing it in your own life. The workshop is offered by Dr. Kristen Neff, a well-respected expert who has dedicated her career to researching and teaching about self-compassion.

I especially recommend this workshop because it is a rare opportunity to begin exploring this important topic live with Dr. Neff with a minimal commitment of time and money. 

We ALL benefit from exercising self-compassion. Most of us could use more self compassion, but the workshop might be especially useful for those who experienced neglect, abuse, chronic criticism, or other types of emotional disconnection from their caregivers in childhood. It would also be particularly beneficial for folks suffering from perfectionism; those who have experienced lasting effects from trauma; and anyone who suffers from a harsh, active inner critic.

REGISTER HERE:

self-compassion.org/event/self-compassion-essentials-workshop-jan-25th-2025/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Last%20Chance%20to%20Join%20Me%20for%20My%20Self-Compassion%20Essentials%20Workshop%21&utm_campaign=Last%20Minute%20Reminder%20-%20Self-Compassion%20Essentials%20Workshop
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Clinicians can earn continuing education credits for attending.

What do Spelling Bee, Crafting, and Mango Lassis have in common?
Nothing. But they are some highlights from my first week of Dry January!

​If you considered participating in Dry January this year, but you were unsure about it, or you missed the "start date", it's not too late to jump in! 
​
I wanted to write this post to share with you a free Dry January resource I learned about yesterday. 

But first, an admission. Although I am fully committed to Dry January this year, I did find myself enjoying a pint of IPA at a restaurant on the very first day, January 1. Oops!

At that moment, it would have been easy to say "Eh... never mind" to Dry January. After all, my drinking patterns fall squarely within the the “moderate drinking” guidelines. Is it really necessary for me to take a month off?

In a January 3, 2025 report (link at the end of this post), U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy made a strong case for all alcohol users to consider the elevated cancer risk we assume by drinking alcohol. Calling for cancer warning labels on alcohol products, he laid out some of the lesser-known facts (among lay people) about the link between alcohol consumption over time and the increased risk for certain cancers such as mouth, breast, colon, liver, esophagus, and larnyx. For example, studies have shown that regularly drinking 1 drink per day, which is within moderate drinking guidelines, increases a person’s risk of breast cancer by 10%. 

While the scientific findings are not new, our knowledge base is growing, and polls suggest that less than half of Americans are aware of any link between alcohol and cancer!

After my New Year's Day pint, I re-committed to 30 days without alcohol, and simply moved my start date to January 2. There's still plenty of time to join in if you're interested!

six-easy-and-effective-breathing-practices.htmlA plan and conceptual framework for Dry January is useful, especially if you are someone who uses alcohol in a habitual way. To increase your chances of success, and help you make the most out of your period of abstinence, I recommend Bay Area psychotherapist Jeanette Hu's Dry January Toolkit. Jeanette is offering it for free here, and it contains links to additional free and paid resources and programs at the end if you want more:
drive.google.com/file/d/1pe5Hwuf3RIKIcLj4vgNrytA6T1Y5lVKa/view?pli=1

One of the core messages in the toolkit is that it's not just about getting through the month without alcohol. It's about identifying what functions alcohol plays in our lives, and choosing and cultivating corresponding, lasting “keystone habits” to replace alcohol. This approach increases our chances of successfully completing the Dry January (and enjoying it!). But more importantly, it encourages us to manage our moods and meet our needs more skillfully and with greater flexibility. This gives us tools we need to move towards less alcohol consumption over the longterm, and eventually on to full abstinence for those who decide to ultimately eliminate it.  

This week I’ve been enjoying finishing a crafting project, and getting back into word games like crossword puzzles and the New York Time’s Spelling Bee (below is a free version for those who don't subscribe to the Times). I find these games quietly relaxing, with just enough mental challenge to help me shift my mindset at the end of the work day. I get small dopamine hits when I come up with words, and I often become absorbed enough to stop focusing on any negative thoughts or worries that might be nagging at me.  

I loved these games during the first year of the pandemic, and it's been fun to bring them back for January. Perhaps you can remember some positive coping strategies you used during the Pandemic (besides alcohol) for stress management, self-soothing, relaxation, entertainment, etc. 

I’ve also been trying new recipes this week, such as an interesting variation on the Mango Lassi which calls for a dose of rose water. Dry January is obviously an ideal time to explore and expand our repertoire of nonalcoholic beverages to enjoy - and, unlike alcohol, we can share these drinks with our under-21 children. Every day doesnt necessarily afford the time and energy for kitchen creativity, so I'm also stocking up on quick grabs like herbal teas and flavored carbonated waters. Maybe next week will bring delicious mocktails or new variations on smoothies. 

When alcohol is off the table, many of us benefit from practicing relaxation and mindfulness practices to take the place of chemical relaxation. Feel free to browse my past blogposts for ideas and instructions in Mindfulness, meditation, breathing techniques, and more!

Note: if you are overwhelmed by your relationship with alcohol or need support in making changes, please contact me, or reach out to SAMHSA's 24/7 National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).  

U.S. Surgeon General's Report:
https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/oash-alcohol-cancer-risk.pdf

A free version of the Spelling Bee game (for those who don't subscribe to the New York Times)
spellbee.org

Mango Lassi with Rose and Cardamom recipe:
https://littleferrarokitchen.com/mango-rose-lassi/#wprm-recipe-container-5673

Don't underestimate these simple but effective practices...
- Reduce stress
- Decrease anxiety
- Stop impending panic attacks
- Increase sleep readiness
- Get relief quickly
- Build confidence in yourself to handle overwhelming feelings

Belly Breathing/ Straw Breathing:
​(see also my prior post about the "breathing necklace") 
1. Inhale through your nose (this gives you much more oxygen than inhaling through your mouth). Move the air deep down into your abdomen, rather than breathing more shallow breaths into your chest. 
2. Exhale through puckered lips (or through a drinking straw), as if whistling or blowing out a candle.
3. Repeat for 2-5+ minutes

Balanced Breathing: 
1. Inhale slowly & fully through your nose at a comfortable pace. Count how long it takes. 
(2. Pause if you wish)
3. Now exhale through pursed lips for the same number of counts
(4. Pause if you wish)
5. Repeat this slow breathing and matching the count of your inhales & exhales. As you get more relaxed, you will likely be able to lengthen the count.

4-7-8 Breathing:
-Inhale for 4 counts
-Hold for 7 counts 
-Exhale for 8 counts 
-Repeat for 2-5+ mins

Box Breathing (for concentration + relaxation):
-Inhale for 4
-Hold for 4
-Exhale for 4
-Hold for 4
​-Repeat for 2-5+ minutes

​Slow Exhale (excellent for sleep):
1. Take a robust, full breath through your nose, filling your lungs with air
(*Some like to pause here at the top of the breath)
2. Exhale through pursed lips for about 8 counts, or as slow & long as possible. As you exhale, let your shoulders drop away from your ears and release tension
3. Rest for a few seconds before repeating the cycle

Alternate Nostril Breathing: 
(Mouth remains closed)
1. Pinch one nostril shut while inhaling through the other
2. Pause/hold for a few seconds, and “switch the pinch”
3. Then exhale through your open nostril
4. Without switching your pinch, inhale through same nostril
5. Hold your breath and switch the pinch
6. Exhale through your open nostril
Return to step 4, and repeat for 2-5+ minutes 
​
There are so many apps for breathing practice, but here are a few I recommend:

Calm app
Simple, visually-guided breathing programs
(Discover/categories/breathign exercises)

Insight Meditation App
The free version has tons of resources, including guided breath work. 

iBreathe
For Box Breath; 4-7-8; and self-customized guided breathing. 
Apple: https://www.jadelizardsoftware.com/ibreathe
Android: https://baixarapk.gratis/en/app/1296605806/ibreathe-relax-and-breathe

Oak
Has Box Breath; simple 4-7-8.

Headspace
A meditation app with other features including breathing exercises.

What is one of the best things we can do when we're stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious?
Intentional breathing practices.

Enter the "breathing necklace"!

I love this thing. It's a handy contraption that assists you in doing what is sometimes called "straw breathing." Straw breathing is a process of exhaling very slowly through pursed lips in order to calm oneself and trigger the relaxation response, which we can think of as the opposite of the fight-or-flight response. The relaxation response engages our parasympathetic nervous system, lowering blood pressure and increasing a sense of well-being. 

Straw breathing can easily be done without the necklace, but I like the sensory element of the breathing necklace. When you exhale through it, it makes a quiet wind-type sound, which I find soothing. For those of you who have taken yoga classes, the sound reminds me a bit of Ujjayi Pranayama or "Darth Vader Breath." The metal is cool and smooth to the touch. The small opening shapes your mouth as narrow as it needs to be to make the straw breathing easy and effective. Some breathing necklaces like this one pictured even have a "fidget" feature for those who like to have something to touch and play with. 

As a parent, I also find this necklace useful in those times when I need to get calm and decide how I want to respond to something my child says or does that pushes my buttons. In this case, I appreciate the necklace keeping my mouth "occupied" while I think before I speak. 

Because it is small and hangs on a long chain, it's easy to tuck in under your shirt if you dont want it showing. ​One of the benefits of wearing the necklace is that it reminds you with its physical presence that at any given moment in the day, you always have an easy way to reduce stress and anxiety, and increase mindfulness. It's right at the tips of your fingers. 

Find this online wherever you like to shop by searching terms like "breathing necklace for anxiety."

It's helpful to practice these in a calm state to find what works well for you. That way, if you find yourself overwhelmed with powerful feelings, you will be ready and familiar with the tools so you can use them effectively when you most need them.