Guidelines for Fair Fighting Conflict is inevitable, but ineffective and destructive fighting can destroy relationships.
Try this exercise: Review these guidelines with your partner (in a calm moment) and identify each person’s greatest strengths and weaknesses in the realm of managing conflict...  Do you ever drink to the point of drunkenness, either intentionally or unintentionally? Is it a rare occasion, or something you do frequently? Are you concerned about someone you know who engages in binge drinking?
Some of my clients report patterns of alcohol abuse that are clearly significant, but which don’t fit the pattern of a daily struggle with alcohol. One example is intermittent binge drinking. This lead me to research the question, is binge drinking a marker of alcoholism? Binge drinking is common in the U.S. – and not just among high school and college aged people. According to the CDC , 70% of alcohol bingeing episodes in the U.S. involve adults aged 26 and older[1].  Try my 9-minute guided audio version of this tree meditation here. Tree Visualization Exercise
Preparation Close your eyes. Breathe deeply in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, focusing on the sound of your breath and the bodily sensations of breathing. Stay with it. Use your breathing to focus you and help you slow down your body’s internal activity.  April is Alcohol Awareness Month, which inspires me to write something on the topic of alcohol. There is so much to say about this powerful substance that plays such a huge role in human life – for better and for worse.
Once upon a time I thought of alcoholism in black and white terms… either you’re an alcoholic, or you’re not. And if you are, time to get to some AA meetings and become abstinent.These days I think of alcohol a bit differently.  What’s this about “productive arguing? Isnt the goal to avoid arguing?
Well, not really. Every couple (and other family members) have disagreements from time to time. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, as long as it is not excessive and there are plenty of positive feelings in the relationship. We need to accept the fact that there will be disagreements, and work on the ways we argue.
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September 2022
AuthorMaysie Tift is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Master Hypnotist with offices in San Rafael, CA and San Francisco, CA. |
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