Are you Concerned About Your Relationship?
Every couple faces challenges. Psychotherapy can be an integral part of maintaining healthy, satisfying relationships, and working through the challenges that come with them. When it comes to relationships, the question is not “Will we have difficulties?” but rather “What kinds of difficulties will we have, and how will we deal with them?” When you remove the burdensome, unrealistic expectations of perfection and constant harmony in your romantic relationship, you are already moving in the right direction.
I provide a nonjudgmental space for couples to explore how to improve their relationship satisfaction. I value both partners’ perspectives, feelings, and needs, and I am diligent in maintaining a stance where both members are engaged and supported in therapy.
In today’s world, relationships and families take many varieties, and are often quite complex in nature. There is no one model that works for everyone. I help couples to discover and define what works well for them, to develop important communication skills, and to increase trust and intimacy.
Couples therapy as prevention: Investing in the relationship
Premarital counseling
Couples who are engaged or considering marriage (or long-term commitment without marriage) have a wonderful opportunity to start out on the right foot by seeking premarital counseling. Generally this is a time of great excitement, optimism, and a high level of energetic commitment to their relationship. At such a time, couples in therapy can enthusiastically reinforce their reasons for being together, make their hopes and dreams explicit, begin to anticipate and prevent future problems, and develop important relationship skills that will sustain them for years to come.
Minor bumps in the road
When the relationship is basically healthy but one or more partners feels dissatisfied or challenged in some way, this is an excellent time to see a therapist to work on basic relationship skills. The couple that is committed and free of serious dysfunction is able to work well together, and the existence of tension is meaningful to guide them to what aspects of the relationship need attention, before the problems have become overwhelming. Not only does this allow for increased relationship satisfaction in the present, but more importantly, it gives the couple the tools to effectively deal with more difficult problems that may arise in the future. Examples of skills to be developed include effective communication and problem solving skills, emotional self-regulation, and articulation of relationship needs and expectations.
Common challenges affecting couples
The thrill is gone
No long-term relationship can sustain the initial intense high of the early “honeymoon” phase that many experience when they fall in love. The quality and experience of love naturally transforms over time, and in the life of a committed relationship, it is common to have peaks and troughs. Psychotherapy can help couples reaffirm their reasons for being together, and to reestablish connection/intimacy and positive feelings about each other.
Expecting a baby / Arrival of new baby
While the addition of an infant into the family can be a peak experience in life, it is also commonly one of the most challenging times for couples. Research shows that the first year after birth is the period when couples are most vulnerable to separation and divorce. Partners must rise to the challenge of nurturing their relationship with each other during this period that is frequently fraught with stress, and where time and energy tend to be very limited. Often partners benefit from exploring parenting philosophies so they can present a strong and loving “united front” for their children.
Jealousy / Breach of trust / Infidelity
When any breach of trust has occurred, it is essential that the couple candidly address it as soon as possible. Infidelity is one of the most devastating and painful experiences that can happen in a monogamous relationship — but it does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Because of the shame and guilt surrounding this issue, it can be very difficult to seek and find adequate support among family and friends. Psychotherapy provides a confidential space to work through the underlying issues that led one or more partner to try to get their intimacy needs met outside of the relationship. Over the course of time, many couples can heal from infidelity and rediscover their love for each other through the process of strengthening and deepening their relationship.
Depression / Substance abuse / Illness
When one or more members of a couple struggles with a serious illness such as mental illness, substance abuse, or chronic physical illness, it takes a toll on the relationship as well. Each partner has his/her own challenges, and each needs and deserves support and nurturance. In psychotherapy, the couple can sort out their expectations, needs, roles and responsibilities, and emotional boundaries. Family members need to know how to best support each other, and what their personal limits are. Often outside professional and peer support is crucial.
I provide a nonjudgmental space for couples to explore how to improve their relationship satisfaction. I value both partners’ perspectives, feelings, and needs, and I am diligent in maintaining a stance where both members are engaged and supported in therapy.
In today’s world, relationships and families take many varieties, and are often quite complex in nature. There is no one model that works for everyone. I help couples to discover and define what works well for them, to develop important communication skills, and to increase trust and intimacy.
Couples therapy as prevention: Investing in the relationship
Premarital counseling
Couples who are engaged or considering marriage (or long-term commitment without marriage) have a wonderful opportunity to start out on the right foot by seeking premarital counseling. Generally this is a time of great excitement, optimism, and a high level of energetic commitment to their relationship. At such a time, couples in therapy can enthusiastically reinforce their reasons for being together, make their hopes and dreams explicit, begin to anticipate and prevent future problems, and develop important relationship skills that will sustain them for years to come.
Minor bumps in the road
When the relationship is basically healthy but one or more partners feels dissatisfied or challenged in some way, this is an excellent time to see a therapist to work on basic relationship skills. The couple that is committed and free of serious dysfunction is able to work well together, and the existence of tension is meaningful to guide them to what aspects of the relationship need attention, before the problems have become overwhelming. Not only does this allow for increased relationship satisfaction in the present, but more importantly, it gives the couple the tools to effectively deal with more difficult problems that may arise in the future. Examples of skills to be developed include effective communication and problem solving skills, emotional self-regulation, and articulation of relationship needs and expectations.
Common challenges affecting couples
The thrill is gone
No long-term relationship can sustain the initial intense high of the early “honeymoon” phase that many experience when they fall in love. The quality and experience of love naturally transforms over time, and in the life of a committed relationship, it is common to have peaks and troughs. Psychotherapy can help couples reaffirm their reasons for being together, and to reestablish connection/intimacy and positive feelings about each other.
Expecting a baby / Arrival of new baby
While the addition of an infant into the family can be a peak experience in life, it is also commonly one of the most challenging times for couples. Research shows that the first year after birth is the period when couples are most vulnerable to separation and divorce. Partners must rise to the challenge of nurturing their relationship with each other during this period that is frequently fraught with stress, and where time and energy tend to be very limited. Often partners benefit from exploring parenting philosophies so they can present a strong and loving “united front” for their children.
Jealousy / Breach of trust / Infidelity
When any breach of trust has occurred, it is essential that the couple candidly address it as soon as possible. Infidelity is one of the most devastating and painful experiences that can happen in a monogamous relationship — but it does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. Because of the shame and guilt surrounding this issue, it can be very difficult to seek and find adequate support among family and friends. Psychotherapy provides a confidential space to work through the underlying issues that led one or more partner to try to get their intimacy needs met outside of the relationship. Over the course of time, many couples can heal from infidelity and rediscover their love for each other through the process of strengthening and deepening their relationship.
Depression / Substance abuse / Illness
When one or more members of a couple struggles with a serious illness such as mental illness, substance abuse, or chronic physical illness, it takes a toll on the relationship as well. Each partner has his/her own challenges, and each needs and deserves support and nurturance. In psychotherapy, the couple can sort out their expectations, needs, roles and responsibilities, and emotional boundaries. Family members need to know how to best support each other, and what their personal limits are. Often outside professional and peer support is crucial.